Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Some Grad students' jokes

You know you're a grad student when...


  • you can identify universities by their internet domains.
  • you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
  • you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
  • you understand jokes about Foucault.
  • the concept of free time scares you.
  • you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
  • you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
  • Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
  • the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
  • you've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
  • you appreciate the fact that you get to choose which twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
  • you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
  • you can read course books and cook at the same time.
  • you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
  • you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
  • you've ever worn out a library card.
  • you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
  • you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
  • you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
  • you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
  • your office is better decorated than your apartment.
  • you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
  • you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
  • you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
  • you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
  • everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
  • you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
  • you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
  • there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
  • you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
  • you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
  • you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
  • you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
  • you consider all papers to be works in progress.
  • professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
  • you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
  • you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
  • you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
  • you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
  • you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
  • you often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
  • you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
  • you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
  • you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".
  • you have a favourite flavour of instant noodle.
( Source: http://www.chat.carleton.ca/~jnoakes/grad.html)

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